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Sharing My thoughts with you



I hope you lovely people wont mind, as I just feel that I want to write this and share..

I am sadly watching my dad, fade, to pass over in the next few days, maybe weeks from a terminal untreatable aggressive lung cancer. Hes been bedbound this week, which is new as he has upto now been able to get up, if even for a short time. What this time has given the both of us is time together, a very healing, special time, that I feel fortunate to have had with him.  

In the last week, in fact after, our circle on Wednesday I was visited by my two grandfathers, one of which is his father. Clear as day, they came in and woke me up.  I asked why they had come and they said we will be the two that will come to help dad pass to our side.  I asked where are my grandmothers, and they said that they are here, but we will the ones in the front.  I was really comforted by this, even though obviously I already knew there would be loved ones helping, it was lovely to see and hear them both.

Now, my dad does not have my beliefs, or understandings, in fact he has ridiculed me in front of others in the past.  I feel sad that I cant tell him, his father(who was a vicar ) is there, and everything will be ok.

However, yesterday, he was very weak, and I had asked him if he was in any pain etc, and then I said Dad, is there any thing that worries you? Hoping at some point not to convert him to my belief, but understand his.  And his response was, which saddens me, was, "yes, my funeral".  I asked why?   "because I have requested to have my funeral in the local church as that is my hometown, and I love this town, but my dad (who was a vicar), told me that no one gets into heaven if they dont believe in God, or go to church every week."  " I am worried that if there is a heaven I wont be allowed into it, and I cant believe in a god that would do this to people."

Isnt that unfair that my dad on his deathbed is worrying about this deep seated belief or any other out there is brought up to believe this?   

I had a chat with him and what I did is arrange, and he liked the thought of, was for our lovely funeral director to go and have a chat with him, which he has done today. I did explain this to the funeral director and he said that is correct, they wont allow him to have his funeral in the church if he doesnt believe in God.  The christian God, etc. 


I really hope this changes, I listened to julian saying about it recently, but this is my first real encounter...shame I cant tell my dad, that his dad, is the one thats coming to help him pass over. ?


Thank you for listening , or reading ?

Blessings all 

Carly x

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Tina Marie



I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I wish there was something I could say to comfort you, but I have no words.  Know that I am sending you a big hug and healing love to fill your heart.  You are not alone and neither is your Dad.  He will see that soon enough.  Maybe he will come to you like your grandfathers did and you will find peace. 

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Hi,  Thank you for your kind words and the love. With you all and some lovely friends, family and my special spiritual team, I never feel alone.

Im very much at peace, and I am feeling he is getting there, so that he can let go of this weak physical body. I have no doubt, after his healing on the other side he will come and help me with my spiritual work.  I already work with a son that passed many years ago. 

Just feel what a shame for him and others that in our society, they can feel that they cant go into a place called heaven because they havent attended church. I know Julian has talked of this recently and then I got to see first hand how this dogma has affected people like my dad.

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Christine Pickering


Oh Carly, I had no idea that such an awful doctrine existed, let alone still acted upon in our so called modern world.
The bond between you and your dad is so strong, and that will never be broken. 
I cannot tell you anything that you don’t already know my amazing friend.

love and light


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Thank you Christine and nor did  I, and its sad... 

Lots of love and light back xxx

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Sending love Carly! I hadn't read the blogs part at all! We said a lot during our practice! 

Sending light dear, you are an exceptional woman! ❤️ 

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