Since the angel meditation with Julian 2 weeks ago, I’ve started writing a journal about “the meetings' with my healing guide. This morning, I had another meeting and I feel it could be good to share with some of you who might be facing similar obstacles. (English is not my first language, but I will try to express it in the best way I could, because I would like to share what I learnt today.)
Love you all, we are all connected.
I will put the long story short: Yesterday midnight I had a nightmare about a strong sense of commiting suicide. When I woke up, I had an overwhelming feeling of fear.
I’m a positive and joyful person, rationally i have no idea why i would have this kind of dream. However I knew almost instantly it’s about self judgement (and self worth).
When I’m aware, I recognize my habit of constantly judging myself about what I should do and what I should not do. Pushing myself too hard to achieve something and if I didn't, I would feel sad, guilty and stressed.
My guide told me :
“There must be a reason you did or you didn’t do something….. Focus on the reasons behind, not the outcome.”
“The outcome is just a reflection of your states, not the real you. Your true self is never affected”
“Do not judge on your self-reflection in the running river, calm down and you will see the answers”
That means to look for the reasons behind my specific response and emotion.
I asked: I understand, but should I ever judge myself?
I said, to be able to go back to the right path.
“My dear, you are always on the right path!”
“It’s only about what you choose to focus on along the way.”
True, on the same road to a mountain, I could focus on the dry soil or on the green grass.
Then he guided me to go through what had happened the day before and practice a new habit of thinking:
-->First, found out the reasons.
Why was I pushing myself too hard to do practice on animal communication and power meditation as much as possible and why would I try to escape from it?
1. I want to do something to raise self worthiness
2. I worry I can't get to this psychic state again easily, therefore every time when I feel I'm ready, I want to do as many as possible.
3. And I want to be able to help and support others on a better level sooner
--->Then, think differently
1. I am worthy, no matter what I do, what I don't do.
I came here to experience life no matter what it is, how it is.
2. Worry doesn't help, discipline and practice regularly , step by step and you will be able to do it naturally.
3.You are already doing the best you can at this stage in your unique way, see it and recognize it. Fully experience where you are standing before making new rushing steps.
I still don’t know where this courage comes from, that i’m sharing it openly and honestly, I guess it’s Divine Love!
Blessings to everyone on your own unique path!